If you are new to the grief process, there are some things about it that may surprise you. The more you know about grief and grieving in advance, the less confusing the process will be. Here are some things that may surprise you.
- Grieving can start before a death. It is common to think of grief setting in after a loss. But many people experience grieving before someone dies. This is known as “anticipatory grief.” The person who is terminal may also grieve the loss of their own life before they pass.
- You may experience unsettling thoughts and emotions. We expect grief to involve sadness. But it can also come with unexpected thoughts or emotions. For example, you might find yourself feeling guilty or even blaming yourself for your loved one’s death or questioning your feelings about them. This is very normal, and is often a way for our minds to try to distract us from the simple, irrefutable reality that our loved one is gone.
- Grief can tire you out physically. Grief saps a lot of energy, and can leave you so tired some days you need to lie down for a while. Sometimes you might just need to cry or rest for a few minutes before you can go on.
- Grieving can feel like an altered state. When you are feeling acute grief at the loss of someone close to you, everything feels different. The world you wake up in can feel unfamiliar and unreal, and the way you experience it can also be unusual.
- You may experience a crisis of identity, roles, purpose or meaning. When a loved one dies, it can destabilize your sense of self, or take away a role that was critical to your identity. It may feel like there is no longer meaning in the universe, or you may question the purpose and priorities that have guided you in the past.
- You may make major changes to your life. In situations where the loss of meaning, purpose, identity or roles ends up shaking up your whole life, you may very well end up making major adjustments to your course. You could decide to start prioritizing things you didn’t in the past, shifting your energy and attention in unexpected ways.
- There are opportunities for new beginnings. While the loss of a loved one is painful, there are sometimes some unexpected silver linings that come from the grieving process itself. You may discover new projects, build new relationships, strengthen old ones, or make other changes that bring new meaning and purpose into your life.
Get the Support You and Your Loved Ones Need
Journey Palliative and Hospice provides support to the patient as well as their loved ones, including bereavement services. To learn what we can do for you and your family, please contact us today at (818) 748-3427 to schedule a consultation. We offer hospice services throughout the Burbank area.
